Rumor Has It
by Monthadog
Summary: Craig and Tweek are finally together but when Thomas suddenly comes back into Craig's life will the relationship be able to last? Based on the song "Rumor Has It" by Adele. This isn't a song fic, it's just based on the plot of the song.


A/N: I do not own any of the characters in this story and am not using them for any other purpose than for my own amusement. I also don't own the title "Rumor Has It" or the plotline to the song by the same title by Adele. Pretty much I do this thing where I hear songs and immediately think of a pairing or a scenario from something I'm obsessed with (in this case it's South Park) and I will think of how awesome it would be to make an AMV for it. Unfortunately I can't make AMVs so I settle for writing it in story form. Also, I suck at keeping stories short so using as song as a guideline keeps me from making a multi-chapter fic that I will never finish. Maybe one day I will attempt it but…. Baby steps. Another thing... this story switches POV a few times and I have tried to space it out so that it is sorta obvious whenever it happens.

* * *

The summer before my senior year had been amazing! After many years of guessing games and just plain sexual tension, my best friend, Craig Tucker, finally confessed he had been harboring feelings for me that went beyond friendship. I was pretty damn excited. I was so filled with surprise at the confession that my cup of coffee slid out of my trembling fingers and splattered all over the sidewalk in front of us. Gah! I hate wasting perfectly good coffee but I suppose it was worth it because it caused Craig to let one of his elusive semi-smiles escape his lips. We spent the rest of the summer doing whatever it is that average eighteen year old couples do. When the start of the next school became more of a threat to our summer vacation we eventually decided that we wouldn't keep our relationship a secret. I mean, if our friends hadn't seen this coming then why the hell were we still hanging around them in the first place?

Senior year began without a hitch. Craig and I had a couple of classes together and luckily we got to sit together at lunch too. Everything in life was just great except for the government trying to insert subliminal messages into commercials on TV to convince everyone Area 51 doesn't exist. Also, the fact that the underpants gnomes weren't falling for my decoys I had placed in the same drawer as my usual boxer. I had hoped they would enjoy something more intricate and colorful than my boring old boxers so I bought lacy pink panties to put in the drawer to distract them. I guess the only underwear they will take are the ones they know you really want which left me with nothing other than pink lacy panties to wear but let's not get into that.

One seemingly normal Monday in October completely shattered the perfection of my happy senior year in as little as one outburst. Craig had been talking to me at my locker as I gathered the necessary books for my first two classes when we heard it. One word that changed my life forever. Somehow, amidst the crowded noisy hallway one individual's voice, which was on the other side of the hall a few lockers down, rose above the rest of the usual clamor and shouted, "Cock!"

The students in the hallway got eerily quiet for a moment before everyone decided it would be best to carry on like nothing happened and resume their obnoxiously loud conversations. I felt my eyes widen even farther than usual in shock and looked over to gauge Craig's reaction. I saw that his intense gaze was focused across the hall but I also noticed that his usually stoic expression was leaking traces of amusement. I followed his stare to the source and found myself watching a younger boy fumble through books in his locker while periodically forcing his eyes shut and turning his head to the side as if he were muttering under his breath. I looked back to Craig and noted that he was still staring intently with some sort of strange emotion evident in his eyes. I snapped my head back over to the boy at his locker. He had dirty blonde hair gelled into a fo-hawk, a clear pale complexion, and was wearing some pretty intense skinny jeans with his yellow plaid button down shirt. Why did this kid look so familiar?

Mystery Kid seemed to have finally gotten his books together and closed his locker deliberately slow before heading off down the hallway shouting, "Fuckshit!"

"If I could yell 'fuckshit' in the hallway I would be so happy," I heard Craig muse next to me. Suddenly I had figured out Mystery Kid's identity. It was Thomas, the Tourette's kid that Craig used to be friends with when we were nine. The only reason they lost contact with each other was because Thomas lived the next town over so they didn't get to hang out very often. I guess the kid's mom finally moved them here to South Park.

After that hallway incident, Craig always invited Thomas to sit with us at lunch. I wouldn't have really minded if he invited him to sit with us once or twice a week, but literally every day he was sitting there laughing it up with Craig. My boyfriend. I understand that they used to be best friends or whatever but they have art class together. Everyone knows art class is just one big hang out session with some paint thrown into the mix. I had real classes with Craig because I'm in the same grade as him which meant that I didn't get to talk to him the whole class period like this little sophomore did during their elective. I needed those one on one lunches to make up for lost time with each other.

When the invitations to Thomas extended beyond lunch and cut into mine and Craig's daily after school trips to Harbucks I felt that I needed to address the issue. Harbucks was my safe haven and I just wanted to be alone with Craig while I medicated myself with my fifth and sixth cups of coffee of the day. That was on a good day. On the days where I couldn't get a grip on my paranoia our afternoon Harbucks trips would be supplying me with my tenth or eleventh cups of coffee. The baristas knew me well. I didn't always order the same thing but they knew that whatever I did order I had to see them make it to ensure that they weren't putting anything insidious inside it.

On the particular day I decided to breach the subject I was having an okay day and was just working on coffee number six. I waited for Thomas to go to the bathroom, turning a few heads as he violently turned his head to the side and yelled, "Aw shit!" before disappearing into the men's room.

"If I could yell out 'shit' in a public place I would be so happy," Craig stated while stirring his hot chocolate. I recognized the underlying emotion in his voice and bristled slightly. Why did Thomas have the privilege of Mr. Emotionless himself clearly defining what he is feeling in his voice while I have had to study every nuance of his tones and facial expressions since we were eight so that I could become a master of Craig-speak at the age of eighteen? I felt my normal body tremors become worse as I brought myself to speak my mind.

"Um, Craig?" I inquired quietly as I fidgeted with the sleeve to my jacket. He looked at me with raised eyebrows to show that I had his attention. Suddenly it all just seemed like too much pressure! My coffee was gone already? I definitely could use cup seven right about now. My hands found their way to my hair and began pulling for a moment before Craig grabbed them and held them prisoner in his own strong hands.

"Gah! I just- I just feel like we've been spending too much time around Thomas lately! I mean, having him eat lunch with us was okay at first but then it was happening every day! Now he's coming with us to Harbucks too and you know how I feel about this place. When is it ever just going to be you and me? I am your boyfriend and I am entitled to having you all to myself sometimes! Gah! This is too much pressure!" I tried to pull my hands free from his so that they could return to my hair but he kept them on lock down.

Craig's beautiful blue eyes shifted to meet my hazel ones. "I didn't know it bothered you so much having him around," he admitted, almost embarrassed. "I know you're my boyfriend Tweek and I'll try to just hang out with him on my own time so that I can have a separate time for just you." He gave me one of his lovely semi-smiles and I could feel my heart beat faster which had nothing to do with the caffeine. I leaned forward and brushed my lips against his in a brief kiss before heading up to the counter to order another coffee just as Thomas made his way back to the table. I heard a bang on the table followed by Thomas shouting "Ass piss!"

My brief discussion with Craig seemed to have done the trick because after that day at Harbucks I saw significantly less of Thomas. I did occasionally have the issue of wanting to do something with Craig and being told he and Thomas had already made plans. Whenever I would express my objections he would simply kiss me until I was breathless and delirious then pick up a new topic. This pattern continued until one day I arrived at school and noticed the atmosphere had changed somehow.

I tried my hardest to go about my daily routine but it was as if I kept accidentally making eye contact with everyone around me like they had been staring at me. Everywhere I went a chorus of whispers would erupt all around me and for some reason it felt like they were talking about me. I normally had paranoid delusions that everyone was watching me and talking about me but it never felt this real.

It wasn't until my third period English class that I finally actually heard what everyone had been whispering about, and it broke my heart. Some girl that sat behind me had turned to another girl next to her and whispered, "Did you hear that Craig Tucker was making out with that Tourette's kid in the boy's bathroom? Do you think Tweek knows? He seems too calm to know his boyfriend is cheating on him."

My heart had to have missed a few beats as my blood suddenly ran cold and a sharp gasp escaped my lungs. The second girl shrugged in response to the questions she had been asked and quickly responded by commenting on Craig's strange taste in men. I wanted to turn around in my seat to scream at them for being so heartless but all I could manage to do was remain frozen in place, too stunned to move.

When the bell finally rang I felt like a lifeless puppet going through the motions of grabbing my things and heading for the door. I would normally meet Craig at my locker while I traded out my books for my next few classes, but with a quick glance down the hall in that directions I saw Craig leaning against Thomas' locker talking to him about something apparently very interesting. It was probably about horror movies or video games, neither of which interests me very much. Those are just two of the things Thomas has in common with Craig that I don't. One look at them was all I needed to know the rumors were true. They kept brushing into each other like it was supposed to be an accident but I could see through that. I felt tears spring to my eyes and quickly ran off in the opposite direction.

I didn't really know where I wanted to go when I took off running but for some reason my body took me through the back doors of the school and I let myself collapse to the ground by the wall the smokers leaned against during their mid-school cigarette break. My vision was blurred by my stinging tears so I wasn't able to tell initially if I was alone or not. I didn't really care.

"Are you okay?" an unfamiliar voice asked from about two feet away from me. Evidently I was not alone. I wiped the tears from my eyes and looked in the direction the voice had come from. My eyes met with a pair of empathetic green ones heavily outlined in black eyeliner. These eyes belonged to Dylan, the red goth. Dylan cautiously approached me until he ascertained I wouldn't be running off by his close proximity. He gingerly sits on the ground next to me, the chains on his pants made a loud noise as they hit the concrete sidewalk beneath us. I felt my body tremors increase with my rising anxiety levels.

"Gah! It's- it's nothing! I'm fine!" I pretty much shouted out in response to his question. Why should I tell this random goth guy all my problems? What if he was a spy?

"You don't look fine," he observed after taking a drag off his cigarette. "You look pretty wrecked if you ask me," he threw a knowing gaze in my direction while blowing smoke passed his pierced lips and nose. I supposed he was right. I probably looked horrible at the moment. My eyes were puffy and red from crying and I'm sure my cheeks were just as rosy and tear stained. If I looked anything like I felt then I must look like fresh road kill on an autopsy table.

"F-fine. I'm not okay," I admitted weakly. The red goth gave me a nice smile and ashed his smoldering cigarette on the opposite side of him.

"So do you want to talk about it?" he suggested warmly and I found myself feeling very comforted by his tone of voice and even just his presence.

"I- I don't even know you," I nearly mumbled but he was still able to decipher what I had said. His eyes had and amused looking in them as if he was impressed with himself for getting me to be willing to open up to him. He stuck his hand outward in a gesture meant to initiate a handshake. I carefully placed my trembling hand against his and we daintily shook our hands together. I noticed that his fingernails were painted black.

"The name's Dylan," he stated happily while in the midst of our handshake.

"I'm Tweek," I replied quietly.

"Alright, Tweek, what's troubling you?" Dylan asked again and this time I actually told him. He listened very intently and was sympathetic of my ordeal. From that moment forward I had a new friend.

I tried my best to avoid and ignore Craig for the rest of the day. He finally caught up to me as I was making my way towards the bus in lieu of his car and grabbed me by the shoulder.

"Tweek! Where the hell are you going? Why have you been acting so weird today?" he demanded sternly. His heavy hand remained on my shoulder as I froze in place and began having a spasm of twitches brought on by being startled from his approach. I shrugged out of his grasp and turned to face him. This needed to be brief or else I'd miss the bus and have to walk home. I looked directly into his eyes and I began to feel fresh tears stinging to escape.

"Craig, -Gah! I heard about your escapade with Thomas in the bathroom," I told him as calmly as I could. He looked horrified.

"How did you hear about that?" he responded flatly.

"Y- you aren't even going to deny it?" I challenged, feeling my heart break even more. "All you are going to say is ask how I heard about it?" I could feel myself reach a hysterical point but at the moment I didn't care. People already thought I was unbalanced anyways.

"Well, I just-," Craig was trying to elaborate but I was done with this conversation. I had a bus to catch.

"No Craig!" I shouted. "Gah! That was all the proof I needed. I'm not going to put up with this bullshit. We're over until you can figure out what you want. If you want to play baby sitter to some sixteen year old then you go ahead and do that, but I'm going to college next year whether you come with me or not!" I turned and ran to catch my bus as he just stood there absorbing the impact of my words.

A few weeks had gone by and Craig and Thomas were unofficially a couple. It wasn't exactly legit because they didn't really act like they were boyfriends by holding hands in the hallway or opening doors for each other. They were seen making out in a few places and always hung around each other. Craig and I had mutual friends but I hadn't been hanging around them too much because I was afraid Craig would show up with Thomas and make everything awkward. So instead of sitting with Token and Clyde at lunch, I sat with Dylan. Dylan and I didn't really hang out outside of school but we would text each other or IM and sometimes we would actually talk on the phone.

* * *

One Friday night, Thomas brought Craig along with him to a party the underclassmen were having at some kid's parents' house while they were out of town. Craig usually hates social events but Thomas must be damn good in bed to have convinced him to disregard the fact that he hates people and crowded places to come with him to watch a bunch of underage kids get drunk and dance like r- tards.

It was at this party that Thomas inadvertently made Craig snap back to reality. As Craig was leaning against a wall in the epicenter of the party, trying to envision himself somewhere else, Thomas staggered up next to him holding a red party cup of beer. Craig took note of the younger boy's intoxicated state. Thomas cringed and jerked his head to the side. "Ass fuck!" he shouted. Thomas looked up at Craig and gave him a sloppy kiss. "Titty fish!" the blonde ticked again.

"Are you sure you should be drinking?" Craig asked with a tinge of concern. He noticed the younger boy's tics had become more frequent and absurd.

"Ass!" Thomas shouted back as he screwed his eyes shut and jerked his head. "Asshole! Asshole sprinkles!" his tic continued as he shrugged his shoulders jerkily. Craig just sighed and shook his head. Thomas gave him a smug look and asked, "What? You aren't used to having a boyfriend that drinks anything other than coffee? Crazy bitch!" Craig glared darkly at the blonde boy in front of him. He wasn't entirely sure if the last part of that had been a real tic or just an excuse to call Tweek a bitch.

"Excuse me?" Craig spat angrily.

"What?" Thomas asked innocently. His only response was more angry glaring so he decided to go ahead and clarify. "Well I'm sure it gets pretty boring just sitting in a coffee shop everyday waiting for an addict to get his fix. Mother fucker!" Thomas trailed his finger down Craig's chest. "At least with me- Cock! - you get to get out and do fun stuff," he smiled drunkenly at his older "boyfriend". Craig didn't like the way Tweek was being brought into the situation and he sure didn't like the way it seemed like Thomas was gloating about stealing him away from Tweek. What the hell was he doing here with this kid anyways?

"Fuck you," Craig stated as he flipped Thomas off and stormed out of the party. He got in his car and backed out of the driveway smirking. He was Thomas' ride. Now the kid would have to figure out a new way home. Everyone at the party had seen what had just happened.

* * *

The Monday after the party the hallways were buzzing with the latest rumors. In my English class I overhear the latest gossip from the two girls that sit behind me. Did they ever actually pay attention to the lessons or did they just talk about people the whole class period? I tried to make it look like I was paying attention to what the teacher was saying so I could catch part of their conversation.

"So anyways," the girl directly behind me was saying, "he totally left him at the party completely wasted. He was supposed to be his ride and he just left!" The girl next to her gasped.

"Craig just left Thomas there?" the other girl asked in shock. The one behind me nodded solemnly. My heart began racing at the mention of Craig's name. "So did they break up?" she pressed.

"They had to of!" The girl behind me declared. "Why else would he have left him there like that? Or maybe Craig is just a shitty boyfriend. I mean, look at what he did to-," she cut her sentence off and I assumed she pointed at me or rolled her eyes in my direction to include me in the conversation without making it obvious.

"Yeah, you're right," the other girl agreed. "I'm just glad Craig plays for the other team. Seriously, if he tried to date me with a track record like his I would slap the hell out of him." The two girls giggled and began talking about less interesting topics after that. I couldn't believe it. Were Craig and Thomas really over? Would he decide to come crawling back to me to tell me I was right?

* * *

That afternoon at lunch Craig sat with Token and Clyde instead of Thomas. He had told the younger boy that he still needed some time to cool off. When Craig placed his tray of cafeteria food on the table and lowered himself to sit he received surprised looks form his two friends.

"Finally able to get off the Tourette's dick long enough to pay us a visit?" Clyde asked jokingly. Token cringed at the lewd comment, not wanting to think of his friend in that manner. They heard Craig groan in response and that's when they finally took note of his appearance. His blue chullo hat was lopsided and his dark hair underneath seemed like more of a mess than usual. It looked like he hadn't slept over the weekend due to the fact that he had dark circles under his bloodshot eyes. His whole look was very disheveled and not as put together as he normally would be. He wasn't even touching his lunch. He was simply staring at it forlornly.

"Dude," Token nudged Craig's arm. "What gives?" he asked. Craig just gave a big shrug.

"Trouble in paradise?" Clyde asked without reservation.

"Clyde!" Token smacked him upside the head. "Be a little more sensitive! Craig is really upset."

"Ow! Sorry," Clyde muttered. Craig looked at his friends with sadness in his eyes.

"I really fucked up by letting Tweek go," he moaned miserably. Clyde and Token exchanged surprised looks.

"Well duh," Clyde started before being elbowed in the ribs by Token. Craig just gave and exasperated sigh.

"What got you into Thomas in the first place?" Token probed. Craig sighed again.

"I don't know," he began. "I guess because when we were kids I kinda thought I had feeling for him but I was, like, nine. I didn't know what it meant. When I saw him here it just reminded me how much I felt for him back then and I guess I let my emotions get the best of me. When I found out that he liked me too I just got too caught up in it. I was stupid. Why couldn't I have just realized I had something amazing with Tweek?" Craig dug his fingernails into his hair out of anxiety. Token put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Look, dude," Token got Craig's attention. "What you did to Tweek was pretty shitty and I'm not going to lie to you and say that I can guarantee he will take you back, but maybe you should talk to him and tell him how you're feeling."

"How?" Craig asked lethargically. "He's become a master of avoiding me."

"Maybe you could write him a letter and stick it in his locker?" Clyde suggested through a mouth full of food.

Craig sat in his science class after lunch staring at a blank sheet of notebook paper in front of him with his pen poised to write. Thankfully, the substitute teacher for the day chose to show a Bill Nye video while she sat at the computer playing solitaire. How could Craig possibly phrase everything he wanted to say to convince Tweek to take him back?

After a good five minutes of hearing papers get crumpled up and written on Bebe began looking for the source of the annoyance. She noticed Craig was leaning over his desk, which was littered with balls of paper with a melancholy look in his eyes. Upon closer inspection she realized that all of the papers had the same heading: "Dear Tweek". The blonde girl smiled to herself and began a note of her own to pass to her best friend, Wendy, with all the juicy details of how Craig Tucker now wanted Tweek Tweak back.

* * *

I approached Craig in the hallway one Tuesday morning with a determined look in my eyes. The slight flash of panic that crossed Craig's visage wasn't missed by my studying gaze. He attempted to resume organizing his locker as I stood behind him.

"I heard you've been missing me," I stated simply which caused him to turn around sharply to face me.

Just like that, Craig and I were hanging out with each other again. I always insisted that we act like nothing was going on while we were at school to avoid having to hear about myself from the two queens of gossip. Craig had no problems with us creeping around because he was still trying to figure out a way to tell Thomas it was over for good. For some reason I was willing to overlook that because I was just elated to be able to be with Craig again.

That weekend, Thomas had gone out of town with his family so Craig invited me over to his house to spend a couple nights. We always had to hang out at my place because he was afraid that Thomas might randomly stop by for a visit and find us together if we were at his house. Friday night was like a dream come true. It was as if there had never been a time where we had broken up. I watched him play video games for a little while and then we cuddled up to watch a movie but ended up making out through half of it then falling asleep in each other's arms.

Saturday night was looking like it would be much like the previous night. Craig and I were lying in his bed lightly kissing each other and letting our hands wander over each other's body. It was when his hand reached the waist band of my pajama pants and my shaking ones threaded themselves though his dark hair that our kisses began to have more desire behind them. Our tongues danced in each other's mouths and Craig's hands worked their way into my pants. I had really missed this! The way Craig tasted, the feel of his hands on my body, the way his hair smelled. The room felt hot and heavy with our lust when suddenly Craig's cell phone began going off. When the musical tone finally made it to his ears passed our heavy breathing he began fumbling for it in his forgotten pants o the floor.

"Just ignore it," I mumbled and continued kissing along his jaw. He finally dug the device out of his pants pocket and glanced at the caller ID.

"Sorry," he said breathlessly. "I've got to take this, it's Thomas. I don't want him to get suspicious." I rolled my eyes as he answered the call. "Hey, sorry, I was in the bathroom," Craig lied into the phone. I sighed which earned me a pleading look from the dark haired boy that clearly read, 'Stay quiet!' I gave him an innocent look and proceeded to continue kissing, licking, and biting every inch of his exposed flesh while I waited for him to end his phone call. After what seemed like an eternity he was finally wrapping things up. "Alright baby, see you at school," he said then ended the call.

I immediately ceased my actions and went rigid. It felt like Craig had just twisted a knife through my heart. Craig could sense something was amiss. "What's wrong?" he asked obliviously. I glared at him.

"Ack!" I shouted in frustration and stood off the bed to gather my shirt.

"What are you doing, Tweek?" Craig asked while reaching out towards me to still my movements.

"Gah! What does it look like I'm doing Craig?" I asked sharply. "I can't do this anymore! I'm not going to torture myself like this!" I was halfway finished gathering my things by this point.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Craig asked, his voice going a little higher in his anxiety. "What the hell is happening?" he demanded.

"Last time I checked you don't call the person you are planning on breaking up with 'Baby'," I hissed. Craig remained looking flabbergasted. "And just when were you planning on breaking up with him, hmm? It's been almost a month!" I shouted on the verge of tears. "He obviously must still mean something to you if it's this hard to come up with a nicer way to say 'Fuck off you twat I'm with someone else!'" I stared at him with silent tears streaming down my face.

"I don't know what to tell you," he said sullenly while avoiding eye contact with me.

"Well that seems to be your specialty, not knowing what to tell people." I replied bitterly and then stormed out of his room and his house with my belongings slung over my shoulder in my book bag. In my distressed state my feet began automatically taking me in the opposite direction of my house. Eventually I found myself standing on a door step and quietly knocking on a door. After a few beats the door opening a crack only to be flung all the way open a brief moment later to reveal a very concerned looking Dylan. The goth invited me other the thresh hold and led me up to his room.

"What happened?" he asked softly as he closed his bedroom door behind him. Clearly he had been getting ready to call it a night prior to my arrival because he was clad in only a pair of low slung black pajama pants, exposing part of a tattoo that was peeking out at his hip bone. I simply dropped my bag to the floor and stood speechless as more tears ran down my flushed cheeks. Dylan approached me and wrapped his arms around my thin waist. "Shh," he consoled. "It's okay," he said as he rested his chin on the top of my head while I cried into his chest. Little did we know, Dylan's open bedroom window was adjacent to Wendy Testaburger's who happened to catch sight of our embrace. Within minutes she made sure her window was shut and dialed her friend Bebe's number to share the details of what she had seen.

* * *

The following Monday, the rumors about Tweek and Dylan's late night encounter were just beginning to get circulated. Craig sat miserably with his friends once again during lunch and was simply staring at his food.

"So what happened this time, Craig?" Token asked in a tone that was trying to be empathetic. Craig just groaned.

"Yeah dude," Clyde said in between mouthfuls of food. "You were all happy for awhile now you're depressed again. You aren't on drugs are you?" he asked seriously. Craig glared at him before turning to his only sensible friend.

"Well, I sort of got back together with Tweek for a little while," he began nervously.

"And we didn't have to see Thomas throw a bitch fit?" Clyde asked incredulously. Token became suspicious too.

"Yeah that is strange that he took the break up so well," the dark skinned boy mused.

"That's because I didn't exactly break up with him," Craig deadpanned, earning a wide-eyed look from Token while Clyde actually hesitated before putting his food in his mouth.

"So you guys were sneaking around with each other while you were still with Thomas?" Token asked to clarify. Craig looked back down at his untouched food.

"Yeah, but I blew it again," the raven haired boy muttered. After lunch the three friends went their separate ways to their classes. Once Clyde was seated in his assigned seat he turned to his girlfriend and told her about what Craig had confessed during lunch. Too bad his girlfriend just so happened to be Bebe Stevens. It wasn't long before the whole school was spreading the word like some kind of new plague. The question that was on every student's lips was "haven't you heard the rumors?"

* * *

I don't know why every person in this school seems to think I am blind, deaf, and dumb. I can see them staring at me and pointing as I walk by. I can hear them whispering after I've passed. I know they are all talking about me. By this point I've heard the whole story that has been pieced together based on all the rumors from the past couple of months combined. Thanks to the gossip queens that sit behind me in class and a few exceptionally loud mouthed freshman I have heard the monstrosity of a fable that has developed from this incredibly long winded game of telephone and it bothered me how incredibly incorrect the so-called "facts" were. According to this South Park High school student body, this is what has taken place over the past few months:

A few months ago I walked into the boy's bathroom and caught Craig and Thomas having sex. I then proceeded to get into a huge argument where I threatened to kill Craig and/or Thomas but ended up dumping Craig right in front of his young "mistress". Once Craig was free to be with Thomas the two continued to hump like it was going out of style until one night they went to a raging LSD/ rave/ kegger party that the underclassmen where having. It was at this party where Craig, who may or may not have been on acid, called Thomas an immature pussy and then abandoned the younger boy at the party. Regardless of what happened at the party, the two were still together when Craig began secretly sneaking around with me and had me over to his house for a weekend sex marathon while Thomas was out of town. The visit was cut short when I ran crying to Dylan's house and was invited inside for some hot comfort sex.

To tell the truth, the fake story sounds way more interesting than what really happened. It was in class in front of those gossipy girls that I realized I shouldn't let any of this bother me anymore. Weren't they going on about Stan and Wendy's ninetieth break up before any of this Thomas stuff started up? I was certain that once something else happened to a different person everyone would simply lose interest in my life. Craig, Thomas, and myself, we were just the flavor of the week and apparently people were having trouble getting the taste of coffee and brooding topped with obscene sprinkles off their palate. So you know what? Let them say what they want. I know the truth. I quietly turned around in my seat to face the two girls who abruptly halted their conversation. One of them had a guilty look in her eyes as if she had been speaking of me before being interrupted.

"Ack!" I twitched as my nerves caught up with me. The two girls held their breath as they waited for me to finish speaking. "It's all true you know," I stated before turning back around in my seat. I would just let them take that however they wanted. Who knows? Maybe a whole new chapter will be added to this tumultuous story of my love life by tomorrow. I'd be interested in hearing what they come up with. People say crazy things. After all, just because I said it doesn't mean I meant it.

That afternoon I was packing my books into my bag to go home while Dylan stood next to me patiently waiting. Once I had closed my locker and Dylan and I were about to head to his car and angry voice broke the silence of the hallway.

"Tweek!" Craig shouted to get my attention. I turned to see the rather pissed off chullo hat wearing teen approach me with Thomas trailing behind him. I turned toward Dylan and shared a look with him before turning back to Craig standing in front of me. Thomas remained about two feet behind him and I saw the blonde kid suddenly jerk his head to the side and squeeze his eyes shut in a nonverbal tic.

"What the hell dude?" Craig asked with a dangerous tone in his voice. "What's this I hear about you going over to some guy's house and fucking him right after you left my house that night?" he demanded. Dylan had already been filled in on the details so he silently fiddled with a chain on his pants and tongued over one of his lips rings while trying to wait out the situation. Thomas, however, was taking Craig's accusation much differently.

"What?" he screeched. "Why was he at your house overnight, Craig? Ass!" Thomas was suddenly furious. Craig simply ignored him.

"Gah! I don't know what to tell you, Craig," I repeated his words in a mocking tone. The dark haired boy looked stunned. Thomas smacked Craig's arm to get his attention.

"Aw shit! Craig you'd better answer me!" the younger blonde shouted. I gave Craig a look that clearly read, 'Your new boyfriend is simply charming.' By this point, Dylan was feeling exceptionally out of sorts and shuffled his feet slightly which caught the attention of the fuming boy in the blue hat.

"Who the fuck is this?" Craig asked me while waving his hand in the red goth's general direction.

"Haven't you heard the rumors?" I ask innocently. Craig continues to stare me down with his hard blue eyes. "He's the one I'm leaving you for," I tell him smugly then grab Dylan's hand in mine and leave the two angry boys behind me to fight with each other.

* * *

A/N pt 2: Sorry if the characters were OOC… especially Dylan. Originally he was an OC but then I figured people would prefer an actual character to be in there instead. I chose an OC and then Red Goth because I really can't picture Tweek with anyone other than Craig but to make this story work with the song I had to have him be with someone else soo….


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